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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24427225">El camarero y la marquesita</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/elitebrokeme/pseuds/elitebrokeme'>elitebrokeme</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Elite (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Other, elite, Élite spoilers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 07:33:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,732</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24427225</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/elitebrokeme/pseuds/elitebrokeme</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Samuel and Carla are perfectly wrong for each other. That's why both of them find it impossible to move on.</p><p> A samucarla / carmuel fanfiction.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carla Rosón Caleruega/Samuel García Domínguez</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>69</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thank you for reading! Small psa to say that English is not my first language. I apologize for potential grammatical mistakes.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <strong>3x02 &amp; 3x03</strong>
</p><p>* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *</p><p>"Love and loss are like a ship and the sea.</p><p>They rise together.</p><p>The more we love, the more we have to lose</p><p>But the only way to avoid loss is to avoid love. And what a sad world that would be."</p><p>― V.E. Schwab,</p><p> </p><p>* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>CARLA </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>Carla Rosón had always been a strong girl, one who had the extraordinary ability to control everything and everyone around her. It used to be so easy. Her father was right: everything she had done recently was unlike her. Being around Samuel had changed her. He had cracked up the walls she had so cautiously built around her heart. The truth was she had always been this person, it was just easier to hide it and be what everyone else expected her to be. Now Carla had to tuck this part of her away. Lying at court to save her family had been the most difficult thing she had ever done. The tears had been real. How terrible was it, that it was not even her lie which was keeping her away from Samuel? Her father used to be her role-model, the person she loved and admired more than anyone. Now, every time she laid eyes on him, her stomach squeezed painfully in apprehension. Would he carry out his threats? Carla had no doubts he would. That was why she needed to make him believe she did not care about Samuel. Everyone needed to believe that. It was the only way to ensure his safety. Even if it meant breaking both of their hearts. He had not tried to contact her since she had chosen to speak to Yeray in front of the school building instead of joining him. I need to be with you, was the text he had sent. If only Samuel knew how much she needed him too. Alas, he could not know that. He would be fine. From what she had witnessed, he had already moved on. With Rebeka. Well, at least staying away from him would be easier. Or that was what she tried to make herself believe. She closed her eyes and leaned against her locker, remembering one of the last night they had spent together.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>FLASHBACK </strong>
</p><p> </p><p>When the door of his apartment opened, his eyes widened and the corner of his lips lifted significantly. His smile was contagious, and Carla soon found herself grinning as he invited her in. His apartment was her favorite place. It was different from her home, much smaller, messier, but she felt more comfortable here than in her own living room. Most importantly, he was here.</p><p>"I thought you'd be at the Teatró Barcelo with Lu and the others." He said after closing the door.<br/>
"I was supposed to," she shrugged, taking off her jacket and casually leaving it on a chair. "But just when I was about to leave, I realized I wasn't really in the mood for a party."<br/>
"Really?" he moved towards her until he was inches from her body. "What are you in the mood for, then?" he asked, his chocolate hues fixed on her.<br/>
"You."</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Always him.</strong> </em>
</p><p>Her reply brightened his smile. Samuel leaned down until his lips grazed her ears, making her shiver.</p><p>"I could get used to hearing that, you know."<br/>
<br/>
So could she. Carla didn't voice her thoughts. They were spending more and more time together, and as the days went by, Carla found herself craving his presence a bit more each day. Their 'relationship' was different from the ones she had had with Polo or Christian. It was more passionate, it made her feel alive. Thanks to him, she was finally able to sleep peacefully. When she was in his arms, in his apartment — their own private heaven — she felt like herself. Not the Marquesita everyone admired or was wary of, but as Carla. The girl who wanted to be loved.</p><p>"I was about to order some pizza. That's alright with you?" He asked while tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.<br/>
"No macaroni?" She raised an eyebrow, the hint of a smile in her voice.<br/>
"You know that I don't eat that every day, right?" He chuckled softly, amused, before brushing his nose against hers.</p><p>She did not reply. Instead, Carla closed the distance between them, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. He bent his head down, deepening the kiss. Carla smiled against his lips, moving her arms around his neck. He now represented everything she wanted, everything she craved. What was a night at the Teatró Barcelo compared to an evening spent with him? Her fingers fumbled with the hem of his shirt but he gently placed a hand over her wrist to stop her. She flashed him her best pout, only resulting in making him chuckle once more.</p><p>"Wait. If we continue, I don't think I'll be able to stop." He whispered against her lips.<br/>
"And that would be a bad thing because...?"<br/>
"I need to order the food."<br/>
"Well, I—"<br/>
"We're having a proper dinner." He cut her off, taking a step back.</p><p>Carla sighed in defeat as she watched him taking his phone out of his pocket. Amused by her disappointment, he tugged at her chin to steal a chaste kiss.</p><p>"Don't worry. We have the whole night ahead of us."</p><p>
  <strong>END OF FLASHBACK</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>"Carla, wait." Yeray. The marchioness closed her eyes, drawing in a breath as he happily strolled in her direction.<br/>
"I can't wait for tonight's party. I am glad your father agreed to come."</p><p>Of course he had. Knowing of Yeray's reputation, Teodoro Rosón saw an opportunity. What the boy in front of her interpreted as kindness, as a good sign in their relationship, was only manipulation. After all, Carla had learnt everything she knew about it from her father.</p><p>"Yes. I'm sure he will be pleased to be there."</p><p>Yeray spoke again but Carla did not hear.</p><p>Something in the hallways caught her attention and she froze.</p><p>What the hell?</p><p>Christian was there. In a wheelchair, and he was moving in their direction.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. I should walk away, but I just want to stay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *</b>
  <b>
    <br/>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>Everything I know tells me I should walk away, but I just want to stay</em>
</p><p>
  <b>* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *</b>
</p><p>Christian was there.</p><p><b>Shit</b>. How could her father not know about this? Carla swallowed a lump in her throat, thinking of something to say. Nothing came out. Christian, however, was ready to talk.</p><p>"Surprised to see me?" He glared at her and she forced herself to smile.<br/>"Yes," there was a pause. "I'm glad to see you are alright."<br/>"Alright?" He repeated, shaking his head angrily. "I'm in a fucking wheelchair Carla! While you're having fun with your new toy boy."</p><p>This got a reaction from Yeray. He frowned before stepping forward but she put a hand to his chest before he could do anything else. She needed to talk to Christian without him around. Or the consequences could be disastrous.</p><p>"It's fine. Go to class, I will see you at the party tonight."<br/>"Are you sure?"<br/>"Absolutely."</p><p>Yeray hesitated a few seconds before walking away. Once he was far enough, Carla looked at Christian. She still felt guilty about the accident, knowing that if she had not sent a text to her father, then the boy in front of her would still be walking. Her father would not have been to stop him after the confession, or it would have seemed suspicious. She walked to an empty classroom, making sure he was following her.</p><p>There was no need for a scandal to explode in the hallways.</p><p>"I bet my return wasn't in your plan."<br/>"You know I never meant for you to get hurt."</p><p>He scoffed, shaking his head. The boy full of confidence, of life, seemed to be gone. In front of her was nothing but a human form full of anger, seeking revenge.</p><p>"I bet you'll be quick to warn your father."<br/>"You think he won't find out by himself? He doesn't need me to know what's going on around here."</p><p>A sigh escaped her lips. She was tired. Wasn't it enough, to have to deal with the guilt about what had happened to him and Marina? To have her heart broken by her relationship with Samuel? Now she also had to deal with him. There wouldn't be any handling though, no manipulation or soothing just like she had done during the summer.</p><p>"You will fall," he said after a few seconds of silence, reminding her of the promise he'd made on the hospital bed.<br/>"Believe me, I already have."</p><p>This earned an eye roll from him.</p><p>"Poor marquesita, you really seemed to be trapped in hell."</p><p>He was sarcastic, and yet he didn't know how close to the truth he was. Actually, hell seemed like a better place than her house.</p><p>"Is that all you wanted?" Carla put her bag on her shoulder,  ready to end the conversation.</p><p>However as she reached the door, he spoke again, and this time there was something dark in his voice.</p><p>"You'll fall, Carla" he repeated. "I don't care how, or when, but I swear that you'll suffer."</p><p>
  <b>SAMUEL</b>
</p><p>BeingwithRebeka was strange. She was a great girl, someone who had supported him, helped him try to figure out the enigma around Marina's murder. She was a great friend. He wished he could see her as more, but it was impossible. Another woman owned him. Carla was haunting his thoughts, his days and nights. He had never thought he would fall this hard for her. And yet here he was, pinning after someone who was completely out of his league.</p><p>"Samu? Are you listening to me?"</p><p>Rebeka waved her hand in front of his face and he forced himself to look at her.</p><p>"I'm sorry. What were you saying?"<br/>"I will pick you up to go to Yeray's party."</p><p>Hearing his name made him wince. He had seen the guy speak to Carla after he'd promised her the best-reheated macaroni but hadn't thought much of it. That was until she chose to speak to him, give him her number while Samuel was waiting for her.</p><p>"I don't feel like coming."<br/>"Because of Polo? You can't let him control your life, you know."<br/>"I know."</p><p>Still. He was angry. Angry at the injustice of this whole situation. His brother had been put in jail without many proofs, while Polo was walking free despite Carla's initial confession.</p><p>He was about to add something else when a familiar and unexpected voice caught his attention.</p><p>"Samu! My favorite boy!"</p><p>Christian. Speechless, Samuel watched him approached in a wheelchair. Nano's best friend was back. The only other person to know the truth about the doomed night of June.</p><p>"Happy to see me?"<br/>"Of course. How are you?"<br/>"As fine as I can be." Christian shrugged, darting his eyes over to Rebeka. Samuel quickly introduced them.<br/>"How was Switzerland?"<br/>"Hella boring compared to Las Encinas."</p><p>His attention drifted and Samuel followed his eyes. Carla was at her locker, focused on her phone.</p><p>"Did you... Did you speak to her?" <br/>"Yes."</p><p>Samuel felt his heart twist in jealousy. Christian had once been able to hug Carla in public, he had been free to kiss her in the middle of the hallways, to dance with her during a party. <br/>Chasing these thoughts from his mind, he cleared his throat.</p><p>"Are you... will you go to the police?"<br/>"Hell, Samu. You know what happened when I tried the first time. If I even think about talking to the police, his father will go after my family. I can't risk that."</p><p>Of course. Samuel could not blame him, especially not after his accident. Truth was that ever since Carla has retracted her statement at the trial, he had lost hope that justice would be made.</p><p>"But I'll promise you one thing, Samu. They will pay. Sooner or later, they will get exactly what they deserve. All of them."</p><p>Samuel swallowed hard. He wanted Polo and Teodoro Rosón to pay, however, Christan seemed to imply Carla as well in his statement. Something he did not like. The bell rang before he could protest and Rebeka dragged him to class. To another hour of fighting against his instinct not to look at the golden-haired marchioness who had her name carved in his heart.</p><p>(...)</p><p>
  <br/>
  <b>CARLA</b>
</p><p>It wasn't just a party. It was also a display of wealth. A way for Yeray to show how much he had changed, how successful he was now. Her father seemed to be enjoying this side of him, and Carla needed to put on a show to make sure both of them would believe that no other boy was on her mind.</p><p>Her will faltered when she noticed Samuel and she silently prayed that he would continue to ignore her.  Otherwise, she would need to find the strength to push him away, to break his heart. It was the last thing Carla wanted to do.</p><p>Her prayers were not answered. She caught her breath, telling herself to remain calm.</p><p>"How are you?"</p><p>Selfless Samuel. Asking her how she was, even though she had not replied to his texts, had stood him up in front of the school.</p><p>"Fine." Her voice was cold as ice. She turned around, walking to the bar. <em>Don't follow me, please don't</em>.</p><p>He did.</p><p>"I'm sorry."</p><p>She frowned slightly, taking the drink the Batman was handing her. At the same moment, she caught sight of her father who was staring at her. He quickly looked away, pretending to be interested in his drink but Carla knew better. Her heart was pounding painfully against her chest. She didn't care about acting in front of Yeray. With Samuel it was different. To protect him, she would have to make him hate her.</p><p>"When you lied at court, I thought you were a coward. But no. You were protecting your family. You were being brave, despite knowing what you'd sacrifice."</p><p>It was just like him to understand perfectly her feelings. This time, however, she couldn't let him see through the curtains. If he did, something bad would happen. Carla couldn't bear the thought.</p><p>Shrugging nonchalantly, she turned around, her face seemingly emotionless, whereas a bubble of intense desperation was quickly rising and swelling in her chest.</p><p>"I didn't have much to lose." She lied.<br/>"You lost Lu, Guzman, me." He was looking at her straight into the eyes, trying to catch a glimpse of something <br/>more than the cold facade she was putting on.</p><p>Her stomach churned. Her eyes met her father's once more, giving him the strength she needed to fire back.</p><p>"Please. I knew you for five minutes. In five months we won't see each other again, and in five years I won't even remember your name."</p><p>Carla turned away before he could reply so he couldn't see her eyes brimming with tears. She was doing this for his own good. Carla could feel his eyes boring into her back, could feel the hurt her words had caused him.</p><p>He would get over it. He had Rebeka now. It was better to break his heart than having to see him dead. She still remembered perfectly the suffering she had been through when he went missing. The despair, the fear, the heartache. She couldn't go through this again. No matter the pain she had to inflict to her own heart.</p><p>During the rest of the evening, Carla found herself glancing at him more that she wanted to. Each time, her stomach swirled in pain, her eyes shone with pain.</p><p>Absorbed by her thoughts, she didn't hear the approaching footsteps.</p><p>"You're not being as discreet  as you think, querida." Lu said, raising an eyebrow as she took a sip of her cocktail.<br/>"What do you mean?"<br/>"I don't get what you see in him. Or why you, of all people, would be jealous of the Narco Barbie."<br/>"I'm not jealous." She lied, hating that her friend was right, loathing even more her brain for imagining scenarios of the two of them kissing.</p><p>Lu rolled her eyes.</p><p>"We haven't been in the best terms lately, but I know you, Carla. Better than you think. I'd never seen you this worked up over a guy in... Forever. Even after your break up with Polo, someone you dated for years."</p><p>Was she that transparent? She hoped her father had not noticed. He seemed too caught in his talk with Yeray to pay attention to her now that he had made sure she had rejected Samuel.</p><p>"It was just a game," she shrugged nonchalantly. "He played me, and I didn't like that. You know how much I like to win."</p><p>Lucrecia watched her carefully with knitted eyebrows. Her best friend would be much harder to convince than Yeray.</p><p>"Tell yourself that, Carla. You can fool them, but not me. I don't get why you're doing that, if it's your pride or something else but... You can always talk to me." She assured, placing a comforting hand on her arm.</p><p>This was the Lu she loved. The good, caring friend. The Lu not everybody knew about. The one Carla did not deserve.</p><p>"Everything is fine, Lu."</p><p><b>But it wasn't</b>. And unbeknownst to Carla, it was just the beginning of a long and terrible labyrinth of suffering.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Éramos indestructibles</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tú me repites una y otra vez<br/>Que ya no sientes lo que un día fue<br/>La fuerza que nos mantendría unidos<br/>Ante el más fatal de los destinos</p>
<p>Y es que, a pesar de todo, aún no sé qué es lo que pasó<br/>Si tú y yo éramos tan felices<br/>Si tú y yo éramos tan felices<br/>Y tú y yo éramos indestructibles<br/>Éramos indestructibles.</p>
<p>― La Habitación Roja, Indestructibles</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>CARLA</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>Valentine’s Day.</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Carla had never loathed the fourteen of February until today. As she walked into the school, the sight greeting her made her stop in her tracks.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Samuel and Rebeka were happily kissing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Our first Valentine’s Day together. It’s amazing, I can’t believe we’re spending it together.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah, I can’t believe it either.” She relies absentmindedly, her gaze automatically flickering to where Rebeka and Samuel were standing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was stronger than her. It was almost as though she wanted to hurt herself.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Jealousy was like a sharp blade twisting her stomach, tearing apart her insides. She wanted Samuel to be happy, she genuinely did. But there would always be a part of her wishing she was in Rebeka’s shoes. It was the first time in her life that Carla was wishing to be someone else.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She had no idea that, as Yeray was walking towards her with a bouquet of flowers, Samuel was thinking the exact same thing.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“A new Japanese restaurant opened two days ago. It’s very fancy but I can find us a booking for tonight.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh. Actually, I believe Lu is throwing a party. I couldn’t miss it.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A party wasn’t exactly what she wanted, but it was much better than having to be stuck alone with Yeray longer than necessary. Perhaps she could pretend to be sick a few hours before the party and finally have some time to herself.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>(...)</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So much for not going to the party. Her father had intervened, of course. He wanted his daughter to spend as much time with Yeray as possible, he wanted her to never utter the word onto him. As it wasn’t enough, they had to be the only couple at the party not respecting Lu’s theme.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What can I say, Lu? I will always be a refined lady!”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She was already a bit drunk, having starter the bottle of alcohol in the car despite Yeray’ protests. If she had to endure a fucking Valentine’s party when her heart was shattered, she could at least have some alcohol in her system to make it more bearable </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>SAMUEL</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was his first Valentine’s Day. And he wasn’t celebrating with the one he truly loved.  Samuel couldn’t help wondering what they would have done if everything had worked out with Carla. They probably would have eaten macaroni at his apartment — she would have teased him for that — before going to Lu’s party, respecting the theme. Then, he guessed they would have ditched the dance floor to be alone together.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Leaning against a wall, holding a glass of vodka in his hand, he was watching her speak with Lu. She was graceful, but not in a tux. It surprised him. He had thought Carla would have liked the roles to be reversed for this evening. When he saw Yeray, he understood that ignoring Lu’s instructions had been his idea. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>It was strange to see the marchioness tipsy. She hated being drunk, he knew that. Mostly because it could mean losing control, and she had always prided herself in being good at keeping her composure in every situation. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Carla was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen in his life. She wasn’t just that, of course. She was so much </span>
  <b>more</b>
  <span>. Still, as he was following her with his eyes, Samuel found her beauty to be aching. He wanted to drown in her, to lose himself in her features. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Man,” Guzmán’s voice pulled him away from his thoughts. “Your girlfriend is looking for you.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The word girlfriend still sounded odd. He slowly nodded. Bringing the drink to his lips, he let it burn down his throat.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be right there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You should forget about her.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Guzmán was now watching Carla too. She was holding a bottle of expensive alcohol, keeping it to herself and sometimes drinking straight from the bottle. Her friend was right. He </span>
  <b>
    <em>should</em>
  </b>
  <span> forget, move on and do his best to make Rebeka the happiest woman on Earth. He knew all this. The knowledge did not make it easier to let go.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Just like you’re forgetting about Nadia?” He raised an eyebrow.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Touché,” Guzmán sighed, turning his body to the direction of the woman he loved. Nadia was laughing with the new guy, Malick. “But I’m not the one with a girlfriend.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He had a point. Samuel emptied his glass before tearing himself from the sight of Carla to join Rebeka. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>CARLA</b>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She found him already staring at her. His eyes were sad, full of pain and incomprehension. He did not understand what she was doing with Yeray. Their gaze held for a few seconds, magnets drawn to each other, and her heart clenched painfully in her chest. Her eyes were shining with tears she did not even bother to hide. She saw him swallow hard before looking away. Carla didn’t think it could hurt more. That was until Rebeka placed her hands on Samuel’s neck and kissed him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>A tear rolled down Carla’s pale cheek and she buried her face in Yeray’s chest to make sure no one would notice. She hated her father for doing this to her. Never in her life had she been so miserable, so lost.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ll be right back.” She said, stepping back and walking away before he could protest.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Standing in front of Lu’s house, her bottle alcohol in one hand again, Carla took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Why was everything so fucking complicated? Why had she not been to keep control over her heart? She wouldn’t be in this position if she had not fallen for Samuel, if she had not hoped for something </span>
  <b>
    <em>more</em>
  </b>
  <span>. Kicking at a rock in frustration, she took a gulp of vodka.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>She hated him</em>
  </b>
  <span>.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She loved him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Something moved behind her but she did not care enough to look. Perhaps she should have. Carla’s heart contracted when Samuel sat down next to her. None of them dared to move or speak for a few excruciating seconds. She tried to force the beats of her heart to slow down. It was not the moment for them to speak, not when she had had too much to drink and was too exhausted to properly push him away. Refusing to look at him, she was staring straight ahead.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Aren’t you supposed to be with your girlfriend?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I could ask you the same question.” He replied, looking down at the glass he was holding.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I needed to be alone. It was too noisy there.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She immediately regretted her words as she remembered the time he had asked her what they were doing while they were eating macaroni. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>I don’t know what we’re doing. But I’m feeling alone, and I know you do too. Maybe we can be alone together.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He simply nodded and Carla wondered if he was also remembering this night.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you speak to Christian?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What did he say?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The usual. That he wanted to bring my family and me down.” She shrugged nonchalantly acting like she did not care. In truth, she did not. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He is angry, but he will calm down. He won’t hurt you.” He said in a low voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You really think I care? Let him try his worse, I couldn’t care less.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>This time he looked at her. Pursing his lips, he leaned forward, thinking. Just when he was about to add something, Carla spoke again.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Why don’t you go back to your girlfriend? You two seem very happy.” She sneered, a hint of bitterness enveloping her voice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You have no right to be mad at me.” He responded, and he was right.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I just...</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she paused, biting her lip. “Nothing. I should go.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before she did or said something that she would regret.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span>“Wait,” he stopped her as she was about to walk away, grasping her fingers and holding on to her hand as though it was the most precious diamond on earth. The mere touch made her skin tingle. Her breath caught and her heart was pounding loudly against her ribs.</span> <span>She swallowed hard, fighting against herself not to pull him against her, struggling against the insatiable need to melt in his embrace.</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Samuel...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I did something awful to Rebeka.” He blurted out, looking away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She frowned slightly in confusion. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s my fault her mother is in jail. They promised my brother could be free if I helped them and I…” Samuel closed his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s </span>
  <b>not </b>
  <span>your fault. People are responsible for their own actions. You did not force her to be involved in this shit.”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He opened his eyes and sighed. He looked as tired as her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“But it is my fault that Rebeka’s life is messed up now.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She would have been caught sooner or later. At least now, you get something out of it.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does that make me selfish?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I think you’re the least selfish person I ever met.” She mused, finally daring to look up at him.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His sight, his proximity seemed to halt her thoughts. For a brief moment of peace, there was nothing but them. The party was forgotten, the shitty situations they were in did not matter. All they cared about, all they yearned for in this instant, was each other. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Samuel interlaced their fingers, giving her hand a soft squeeze and taking a small, timid step toward her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>At Yeray’s party, he’d told her she was brave. </span>
  <b>She was not.</b>
  <span> If she were, she would tell him what was truly on her mind. She would tell her that she loved him and that her own feelings were terrifying her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Behind them, someone cleared their throat. They both jumped and Carla stumbled back, panic rising in her chest at the thought of who it could be.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Fortunately, it was only Guzmán. This return to reality made her realize that it could have been Yeray or Rebeka. The last thing she needed was for her boyfriend to have doubts and to go see her father about it. Taking a deep breath, Carla forced her features to harden as she harshly pulled her hand away from Samuel’s.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Without uttering another word, she turned around, not sparing a glance to Guzmán. She did not know if she was feeling better or worse. The only thing Carla was sure of was that the intensity of her feelings had not wavered the slightest bit. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. A glimmer of hope</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>For the first time in weeks, Carla has hope that her relationship with Samuel could finally be.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  <span>Carla was still shaken up after Lu's Valentine Party. Seeing Samuel dance with Rebeka, talking to him, being near him... It was too much. She had always prided herself in keeping her composure no matter the situation but right now all she wanted to do was scream. Her resolve to stay away from him was dangerously wavering. She did not know what to do anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Apparently, he knew that too for he caught her wrist in the school's hallways, tugging her in the direction of the changing rooms. A dangerous move, especially if someone they knew was around. She wondered what kind of lie she would give if Yeray found them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What do you want?" She frowned slightly, crossing her arms across her chest in order not to be tempted to touch him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We need to talk."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"About...?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Something is wrong. I know it. Yesterday you... You were sad."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're seeing things. I was perfectly fine."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're lying. Again."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was watching her carefully, trying to analyze her features, her reactions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Carla, please. I just want to help."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I don't need it. You're wasting your time. And mine. Are we done yet?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tried to move but he stopped her, gently placing a hand on her forearm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is it because of... What I did to you? When I made you think I disappeared?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Samuel was looking at her intensely, searching in her eyes for any sign of recognition. For anything at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You didn't do anything to me. As I have said countless times, I don't care as much as you think."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Then why did you confess?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her stomach twisted and she looked away. Truth was, perhaps a part of her did hate him for making her go through hell a few weeks ago. She could still remember perfectly the sharp pain, the fear that had taken over her whole body when he wouldn't respond to her messages. The tears rolling down her cheek, the frantic sobs she would shed when she was alone, thinking of the worst scenarios.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I," she began coldly, "thought you were dead."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You claim to care about how I feel, but you don't. Otherwise, you wouldn't have done that. You would have chosen me instead of your vendetta."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carla immediately bit her tongue, hating herself for speaking too much. Her tone of voice was bitter, her eyes sending lightning bolts.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It wasn't a vendetta, it was justice and —"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What difference does it make? You chose to make me suffer. That's what you wanted, isn't it? To make sure I would be in pain, so I would run to the police. Don't say you care when it's so obvious you don't."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>These words had been a weight on her chest ever since she had figured out the trap he had laid for her with Guzmán's help. Now that they were finally out, Carla's eyes were gleaming with tears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He swallowed hard, looking at her with knitted brows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Carla, I—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Don't bother."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I am sorry I hurt you. I really am. You have to understand that it was the only way to clean my brother's name. I care about you, I..." he stopped himself before</span>
  <em>
    <span> two other words</span>
  </em>
  <span> could leave his mouth. He took a step forward. "Please. Believe me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She did. Family was important. That was the reason why she lied at court and he knew that. They both wanted to save their family. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thank you for listening to me yesterday. I've missed talking to you. I hope you know that if you need anything</span>
  <b>, I'm here for you</b>
  <span>." He added,  his hand coming to cup her cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course he was. She was tired now, tired of always being on the defensive with him. Carla closed her eyes, leaning in his touch. There was no need to reply.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There was still something between them</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thought. No matter how hard she denied it, no matter how she would kiss Yeray and pretend to be the happiest girl in the world.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was admiring her now, drinking in the sight of her features, taking advantage of the fact her eyes were closed. His eyes flicked to her lips and Samuel tucked a strand of golden hair behind her ear, allowing his fingers to graze against her cheek afterward. The gesture made her shiver and she opened her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They both leaned in at the same time and their lips collided.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was soft at first, heartfelt. She had haunted his dreams for so long, with her beautiful emerald eyes, her soft features commanding all the light to herself. He couldn't believe that after what had felt like an eternity, he was finally tasting her lips again. Samuel wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer and she was quick to respond, encircling his neck with her arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She ran her fingers through his hair just like she had done dozen of times before. He settled his hands on both sides of her hips and deepened the kiss hungrily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I've missed you," he whispered against her lips between two kisses, "so much."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had missed him too. More than words could ever tell. Her heart thundered loudly, her lips parting with no resistance as his tongue teased hers. Carla tilted her head to expose her neck and he gladly obliged, his tongue following the curve of her neck. His hands scooped under her legs to keep her close and secure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the first time since the night of Samuel's disappearance, she was breathing correctly. She was feeling alive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bell rang, bringing her down to Earth. He didn't even seem to notice as he moved to capture her lips one more time, but only met her cheek as she turned her head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Samuel, we have to—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know. I just don't want to let go yet."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn't either. He sighed and leaned his forward against hers, his thumb following the soft curve of her mouth. They remained as close as possible for a few more minutes, too absorbed by each other to notice that someone was observing them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>(...)</b>
</p><p>
  <span>"Samu!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He stopped upon hearing Christian's voice. He was moving toward him, his eyes suspicious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We need to talk. Now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What the fuck is going between you and Carla?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Samuel froze. He pinched the center of his brows, at loss of words. All of their friends knew because of Lu's speech. Had anyone told Christian? Who?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's none of your business."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It is! Because you're my friend and she is fucking manipulating you!" He exclaimed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You don't know her like I do." He snapped with a tight voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you kidding me? I know her </span>
  <b>
    <em>better </em>
  </b>
  <span>than you. Listen Samu, I was in your position and —"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You weren't!" He shot back angrily. "You only cared about sex, about the doors her connections would open to you. About having a marquise in your bed. I care about </span>
  <b>Carla</b>
  <span>. The woman beneath the mask. I care about the Carla who opened her heart to me, who..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He clenched his fists. He was in no mood to receive lessons about his relationship with Carla, especially from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Holy shit, she has gotten her claws deep inside of you." Christian shook his head in disbelief, disgust was written all over his face. "She knows how to act, how to pretend. She does! She doesn't care about you. I swear I will—"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You won't touch her, or threaten her." Samuel turned to him and dug his finger into his chest. "If you do, you'll regret it." His voice was shaking, rage-filled. It took him great strength not to punch the locker behind them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fuck, man, wake up. She's the one who orchestrated the cover-up of Marina's murder! She's the one who told Polo exactly what to say, even when he was on the verge of breaking."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"She was protecting her family. She never asked Polo to kill Marina, it's not her fault. You can't blame her for that. He is responsible for his own actions. She helped him, but then she confessed. She did."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she believed him to be dead. She had confessed because she cared about him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"And yet Polo is still free, and your brother is still hiding."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Samuel shook his head. There was a reason why Carla had suddenly decided to retract her statement. He knew that. Something to do with her family. If Teodoro Rosón was ready to kill, Samuel had no doubt he would be capable of threatening his own daughter, of manipulating her into doing his bidding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seeing Samuel wasn't going to add anything, Christian shook his head disapprovingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Very well. Don't come crying on my shoulder once she fucks you up."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Samuel didn't reply. Instead, he turned around, leaving his former friend speechless.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Christian couldn't believe that Samuel, of all people, had fallen for the marchioness. He believed even less that those feelings were truly reciprocated. If he couldn't get anything from his best friend's brother, then it meant he would have to talk to Carla directly and make sure himself that she would never come close to him ever again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>(...)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carla could still feel the taste of him on her lips. She put her fingers over her mouth, wishing with every fiber in her body that their moment could have lasted longer. How was she supposed to pretend to care about Yeray now? It was going to be difficult, but did she have a choice? It seemed the duty of saving the vineries had fallen upon her shoulders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When she went to her boyfriend's house she felt like she was cheating on Samuel, not on Yeray. Even as they were having sex, her mind was not in it. It never was. Her thoughts were focused on someone, but it wasn't the one she was with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you like sushi?" He asked with a smile as they were relaxing in a bubble bath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Carla said, bringing her knees to her chest. "I'm not hungry."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As silly as it might sound, the only thing she wanted to eat now was reheated macaroni.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have a gift for you." Yeray declared, handing her a small box.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another gift. Hadn't he understood that she couldn't be bought? That was she craved couldn't be paid with money?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"A toothbrush." She frowned slowly, examining the small tool. Diamonds decorated the thing. Geez, couldn't he be more obvious?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's just, I think we should live together. Wouldn't that be great? A beautiful house you could decorate to your taste."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Mmh."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last thing she wanted was to be with him. Living with him would keep her away from her father, but it would just be another kind of golden cage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She barely listened to anything else he had to say. It was always the same thing. How they were perfect together, how they were a match made in heaven.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If only he knew.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>(...)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Ander's reveal shocked her. They had not been close lately, but she cared about him. Always had. Learning that he had cancer was terrifying. Ander was a good person who had been through a lot, he deserved to be happy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hello."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey." Ander looked up, smiling slightly at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It suits you." She said, referring to his hair. "Listen, I am not going to shave my hair off for moral support but if you need anything else..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Thanks. I'm sick of all the sad looks. don't know what's worse. The chemo or the pity."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The pity for sure."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But it's not all shitty, you know. Cancer also has an upside."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Really? What is it?" She wrinkled her brows in confusion and sat down next to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Before I used to stress about what to do with my life. My future, my parents always breathing down my neck." He paused, and Carla couldn't help thinking about her own situation. "We spend so much time thinking about the future that we forget the present. Now, I only do what I want to do. I like it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Noticing she seemed to be lost in her thoughts, he smiled. "I'm sorry. I talk like a Buddhist master now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carla chuckled softly before shaking her head. "I don't know if you're a master, but you're right."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It seemed that Ander had been more helpful than her. Indeed he was right. Their lives could be cut short at any moment, they needed to enjoy it. She didn't have to take her family's burden, she needed to take care of herself first. A small smile appeared on her lips at the thought. Taking out the toothbrush from her bag, she let it fall in the trash.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was going to talk to her mother. Her mother would understand, help her, and finally shut her father down. Then she would break up with Yeray. Perhaps then, her relationship with Samuel would finally have a chance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hope rose in her chest, a joyful flutter was in her belly, making her feel invincible as she was walking through the school. Everything was going to be fine. Tonight, she would be free.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her smile grew wider when she noticed Samuel at his locker. Fortunately enough, he was alone. The corridors were almost empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Holà Guapo." She smiled brightly, leaning against the locker next to his.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Holà."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If she noticed he seemed troubled, she was also able to see that his features lightened when he laid eyes on her, his gaze roaming over her delicate features.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm glad to see you," she began, eyes sparkling. "I just talked to Ander."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I hope he is alright. I wish there was something we could do to help him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He's strong. He is as good as he can be, and the only thing we can do is show him support. He made me realize something."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes?" He asked curiously, closing the door of his locker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We might be young, but it doesn't mean we're immortals. Anything can go wrong at any moment." She paused, briefly thinking about Marina. "I think it's time for us to embrace the moment and forget about everything else."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carla moved toward him, stroking his cheek tenderly. They were an odd pair, yes, but she could not care less. The only thing she cared about was grabbing this opportunity to be with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Really?" He seemed surprised but did not complain. He put his hands on her waist, gently pushing her against the locker.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes. Really." She grinned, pecking his lips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He smiled and her heart fluttered. She loved his smile. Samuel's hands found their ways beneath her white blouse, softly brushing her the skin of her hip. His touch felt so familiar, so comforting. In his arms, Carla felt like home. His smile wavered for a moment and she put a hand under his chin, titling in forward.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is everything alright?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, and no. I am happy to hear you say all this, I am but... remember what I told you, about Rebeka's mother? Well, Rebe has her mind set on finding out who sold them out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn't pleasant to hear him talk about Rebeka. Still, she knew she was in no position to judge him. Not when yesterday she was with Yeray.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You should tell her the truth. I think she'll take it better if it comes from you."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Will she, though? I don't want to hurt her more than necessary."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Because he would. After all, how could he stay with her after everything Carla had say? He couldn't imagine breaking her heart twice. Rebeka deserved so much better.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Carla laid a hand on his chest, her touch was soft and comforting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You'll make the right decision no matter what. You were protecting your family. I understand that now."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slowly nodded before taking a reluctant step back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry, I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow though?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course. And it will be a new beginning for us." She promised, kissing his lips one last time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>(...)</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were eating dinner in silence. The atmosphere was cold. It was strange to think that they used to be able to talk. Now Carla felt like she was sitting with strangers. One more dinner and it would all be over. Her mother would stand up for her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Aren't you going to Yeray's?" Asked her father, looking up at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No. I am going to break up with him."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Excuse me?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I am tired of it all." She turned her face toward her mother. "See, dad has been hiding things from you. He's been prostituting me out to save the vineries. He wants me to stay with him for five years just for the sake of a stupid contract! I am sick of it all! I am going to break up with him and finally do whatever the hell I want!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her mother did not budge. She was emotionless, looking at her daughter with no warmth in her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something shifted in Carla's heart as desperation and disbelief rose inside her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You... You knew?" She whispered, an atrocious lump forming in her throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Of course she knew." Her father intervened but she didn't glance at him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You can't force me to be with him. I don't love Yeray, and I will never fucking love him!" She exclaimed angrily, slamming her fist against the table wood.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Carla, you need to understand that life can be hard. Love doesn't lead anywhere. I chose love, and do you see where I am now? You need to make the right decision. We will not let you make the same mistakes."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It couldn't be happening. Her mother was supposed to be on her side. Her mom was the reason why she had lied at court, the reason why she had risked Samuel's love and forgiveness, why she had not ended Guzmán's nightmare.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shaken, Carla abruptly stood up and left the room, feeling a wave of nausea hit her. She was feeling trapped. The sensation of suffocating was growing and even the water she splashed on her face did not help. Rage and despair crept in her body, mingling together as one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She tumbled to her bed, rubbing her arms to comfort her chest. What was she going to do now? How could she—</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Carla."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door suddenly opened, interrupting her train of thoughts. Her father was standing there, eying her disapprovingly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is this about this boy, Samuel?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn't say anything, choosing to stare ahead instead.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I already warned you once, Carla. Didn't you take me seriously? If I see you around him, it will not end well. Do I need to remind you what happens when I get angry?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She clenched her fists. Of course she knew. He'd never admitted to her but she knew he was responsible for Christian's accident. She couldn't bear to imagine Samuel in a similar situation, or something worse. She had already been through this pain when he disappeared. She wouldn't - </span>
  <b>
    <em>could not </em>
  </b>
  <span>- let it happen again and for real this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"How can you do this to me?" she muttered weakly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Honey, I am doing this for you. One day, you'll thank me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the door was closed she buried her face in her pillow, allowing the tears to stream down her face as she thought about her family's ambition and lack of love for her, about Yeray, about Samuel.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It seemed there was no way for them at all.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And... of course Carla's hopes are crushed. It wouldn't be Samuel and Carla if we didn't have to suffer.<br/>I hope you'll like this chapter! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. It hurt like hell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *</p>
<p>"Now I'm falling asleep and she's calling a cab,<br/>While he's having a smoke and she's taking a drag.<br/>Now they're going to bed, and my stomach is sick<br/>And it's all in my head, but she's touching his chest now<br/>He takes off her dress now<br/>Let me go<br/>And I just can't look, it's killing me<br/>And taking control."</p>
<p>― Mr. Brightside, The Killers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>The following morning, Carla arrived late in class. She was unable to focus on the teacher's words, her heart was too heavy. She still couldn't believe that all this time, her mother had said nothing. Worse than that, she approved everything Teodoro was doing.</p>
<p>"Carla."</p>
<p>She closed her eyes as she let out a deep sigh.</p>
<p>"Not now, Christian. I am not in the mood." She snapped without turning around.</p>
<p>"I don't care."</p>
<p>He moved his wheelchair around to face her. The marchioness crossed her arms over her chest. She was feeling awful enough and did not need him to rub it in.</p>
<p>"You're not good for Samuel."</p>
<p>Nothing she did not already know. Though she was surprised that Christian knew about them.</p>
<p>"I know." She replied carefully.</p>
<p>"You fucked him up. You'll end up breaking him. Samu has faith in people, he tries his hardest to see their best side. He still hasn't figured out what a manipulating bitch you are but I did. Now, you'll stay away from him. I swear you will because he has already been through enough shit."</p>
<p>Christian was right. He had been through enough. Marina, her death, Nano, his mother leaving... She couldn't risk him getting hurt by her father.</p>
<p>"I love him." She whispered, but he heard.</p>
<p>It was the first time she was admitting it out loud. She loved him. She genuinely did. With all her heart, with her soul. A kind of love she had never felt before, not even with Polo. Somehow, Carla did not care much about confessing it to Christian. She knew very well he wouldn't repeat her words to Samuel</p>
<p>She saw Christian swallow hard. He was surely trying to determine whether she was lying or not. After all, she had never uttered those words to him, even when she was trying to keep him on a leash. He inhaled sharply before speaking again.</p>
<p>"If you truly love him, you'll let him go."</p>
<p><em>He was right</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>(...)</strong>
</p>
<p>Carla was alone in class, eating the meal that had been prepared for her by Mirella, ignoring her phone buzzing with texts from Samuel. She needed some time alone to gather her thoughts. She had to find the most efficient way to push Samuel away for good. Even if it broke her in the process.</p>
<p>Fate did not seem to be on her side. The door opened and Samuel walked in with a smile. He was happy to see her.</p>
<p>It wouldn't last.</p>
<p>"Carla, I was looking for you. Didn't you see my texts?"</p>
<p>"I did not." She looked down, playing with her fork.</p>
<p>
  <b>
    <em>Be strong, Carla. Be cold.</em>
  </b>
</p>
<p>"I'll break up with Rebe."</p>
<p>"What?" She frowned, eyeing him carefully. "You shouldn't."</p>
<p>"I have to if we want to be together."</p>
<p>"If you're thinking about breaking up with her, please go ahead. Just don't do it on my account." Carla shrugged nonchalantly.</p>
<p>"I don't understand," he said, trying to keep his breath steady. "Yesterday you said you wanted us to be together."</p>
<p>"Wrong. I said it was time for us to do what we wanted. I didn't imply you." She rolled her eyes. "I meant Yeray. He is going to buy us a house."</p>
<p>A house. A fucking house, Samuel thought. Yeray could offer her things he couldn't even dream of. He had always known that. Yet, he had never envied his money. Samuel had always believed his relationship with Carla did not need these kinds of artifices. That was one of the things he loved about her. She couldn't be bought, not by money or gifts.</p>
<p>"What are you talking about? We kissed. I didn't imagine that. We—"</p>
<p>"Oh, for fuck sake, Samuel, don't take everything to heart. I just wanted to see if I still had an effect on you. Which, obviously, I do. It was just another game, but it's gotten boring now." She smirked, putting her chin in the palm of her hand.</p>
<p>He couldn't know that she hated her goddamned self for doing this to him again. Her cruel words felt like sharp blades torturing his heart.</p>
<p>"Carla," his voice was low, his breath heavy. "If you push me away now, I won't come back. It will be over, I won't fight for us anymore."</p>
<p>She dug her nails in her bag and swallowed a lump in her throat. His supplications almost broke her resolve. <em>Almost</em>. There was no going back now. She had do to it. For his own good.</p>
<p>"There was never an us to begin with." Carla finally said in a cold voice, her expression emotionless as she stood up to face him. "It was fun while it lasted, but I am tired of it now."</p>
<p>"No..." he shook his head in confusion, clenching his fists. His pain was evident and Carla loathed herself for hurting him so much. <em>One last time</em>, she thought. Then he would move on completely and be fine. "You can't just pretend we were nothing. Not after everything we shared."</p>
<p>"What we shared?" She raised an eyebrow and laughed. A mean, iced tinted laugh. "Please. I was bored, you were here. That's all."</p>
<p>"I see." He swallowed hard, avoiding her eyes as though looking at her would only cause him more pain. "Goodbye, Carla."</p>
<p>He stormed off angrily, slamming the door behind him and she did not stop him.</p>
<p>Carla placed her face between her hands, sliding her back against the wall until she was on the floor. Tears began to roll down her cheek, uncontrollably. She couldn't stop. The sobs were wracking her body and soul, squeezing her stomach painfully.</p>
<p>"He hates me." She swallowed hard as her vision blurred with tears. The realization sunk deep and hard. How was she supposed to go on, knowing that he loathed her? <em>Easy</em>, a small voice whispered in her head, <em>he's safe now. </em>Only his safety mattered. The knowledge did not take the pain away.</p>
<p>"Carla? Carla, what is going on?"</p>
<p>She looked up, furiously wiping away her tears to find Azucena standing in front of her.</p>
<p>"Nothing, I am fine." But her trembling voice wouldn't fool the other woman.</p>
<p>"Clearly, you are not." Azucena paused, hesitating. "You can talk to me freely, Carla."</p>
<p>"I don't want to talk." She looked down at her fingers, full of dark eyeliner.</p>
<p>"Let's not talk, then." Said Azucena as she sat down next to her, handing her a tissue.</p>
<p>Carla didn't say anything else, washing the rest of her tears away. Unable to help herself, more tears came down, rolling down her pale cheeks.</p>
<p>"Come here, come here."</p>
<p>Azucena whispered, pulling her close, wrapping her arms around her,  finally giving her the motherly comfort Carla desperately needed and lacked.</p>
<p>"Everything will be fine Carla, just let it all out."</p>
<p>It wouldn't be, though. No after what she had just done.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>(...)</b>
</p>
<p>"I need to fall in love."</p>
<p>"Well, I have the perfect thing for you!" Valerio happily exclaimed.</p>
<p>"Drugs aren't my things." She said but she was already looking at the white powder.</p>
<p>Perhaps this could be her salvation. The solution to soothe her heart. She licked the drug on his finger, deciding that if she had to go through five years with Yeray, she might as well try to enjoy her time.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>(...)</b>
</p>
<p>It was torture to see her with him. Yet he couldn't stop himself, as though he craved the pain. Carla was dancing happily, swaying her slim body across the dance floor. She was laughing and twirling in Yeray's arms, her lips finding their way to his too many times to his taste. Taking a gulp of his drink, Samuel's stare didn't waver. His knees were shaking, his thoughts were fuming. He was torn between the urge to talk to her and his task of the night: stealing Rebeka's bag.</p>
<p>"Can you watch my bag while I go to the bathroom?"</p>
<p>"Of course."</p>
<p>It was almost too easy. Or at least, that was what he thought at first. Everything went very quickly after that, and before he registered what was happening, the room turned black and Rebeka punched him. He clenched his jaw. Despite his best efforts, he had hurt her. He had a lost a good friend, someone he truly cared about, even if it was not in a romantic way.</p>
<p>His eyes wandered around, searching for Carla. His heart almost stopped when he noticed her. She was holding Yeray's hand, giggling as she was pulling her to the club's secret room.</p>
<p>The same place where they had had their first time together.</p>
<p>He took a deep breath, putting both of his hands against a wall. The pain was consuming, overwhelming. Not only had he lost Carla, he had also lost Rebeka tonight. His best friend. He should be more upset about it. But the image clinging on his mind was the one of Carla and Yeray. He closed her eyes and could almost smell her perfume, her breath on his neck. All he could see in the darkness was her. Her golden hair, the black dress she wore that night. All he would feel was the taste of her lips, the feeling of her hands in his hair, his neck.</p>
<p>"<em>Are you sure? Girls like you don't hook up with guys like me."</em></p>
<p>
  <em>"What do you know about girls like me?"</em>
</p>
<p>She had said before straddling him. He couldn't believe then that she had kissed him back, and had done <b><em>so much more</em></b>. She had given him her body, her soul. So much more than he deserved.</p>
<p>All he wanted was to see her smile at him once again, just like when they were in his apartment and all the shit they were going through seemed to belong to another world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Now he had lost everything and it hurt like hell.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you liked the chapter! Do not hesitate to leave me your thoughts. :) &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The descent to hell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Carla woke up with a blinding, throbbing headache. Everything physically hurt and the momentary bliss from before was forgotten. She glanced at the mirror and if she were surprised by the sight, she didn't even blink. The reflection did not even seem to be hers. The drugs had become a habit, the only solace she could find to soothe the overwhelming pain.</p>
<p>Carla barely managed to take a shower and get dressed. She even contemplated skipping school but remembered she had a test. Taking drugs the day before an important exam had not been her brightest idea. Carla didn't have the strength to care.</p>
<p>One hour and a half later, she was sitting in the classroom, staring at the wall in front of her while massaging her temple.</p>
<p>When Samuel walked in, he froze. Carla was here, but she didn't look like herself. He had never seen her like this. Her eyes were emptied of their usual light, her skin was pale with sickness, there were dark circles under her eyes. No trace of makeup was visible on her features. He knew Carla. Even when she was at her worst, she always took care of her looks because she hated looking vulnerable or weak. Her appearance was something she controlled. Now... She looked lost.</p>
<p>His heart jumped out from his chest in worry. She had broken his heart many times, but it was still Carla. She could crush him a hundred times and he would still crawl back to her. He knew that, despite his promise that he wouldn't fight for them anymore.</p>
<p>It was his instinct, his body, and not his mind which reacted first, moving toward her and leaning slightly over her table.</p>
<p>"Is everything alright?"</p>
<p>Carla had seen him approach but she had not moved. His eyes were full of worries, staring at her, trying to read her soul, trying to understand what could be wrong with her.</p>
<p>"I'm fine." She snapped, annoyed. Not at him, but at herself. He didn't need to know that.</p>
<p>"If you're not even going to try to hide it, the least you can do is tell me the truth."</p>
<p>A sigh escaped her lips. She looked up and gave him a fake smile. A mean one, lacking of kindness or warmness.</p>
<p>"I'm wonderful. Is that better now, Samuel?"</p>
<p>He was about to add something else, about to beg her not to lie. He wanted to help her and he hated feeling so powerless. However, before he could speak again, Rebeka shoved him in the shoulder.</p>
<p>"Is anyone sitting there? No? Well I am now."</p>
<p>She was rightfully angry. They broke up yesterday and instead of checking on her, he was talking to Carla, desperately trying to understand what was wrong with her. The fact that she had pushed him again once again, that he'd promise he wouldn't fight for them anymore did not mean he stopped caring. His feelings for Carla could not disappear with a magical snap of fingers.</p>
<p>He couldn't even focus on his test. His eyes seemed to be always be drawn back to her and concern was creating a fine line on his forehead. Carla had not touched her laptop even once. She was staring at the window, and even though he couldn't see her face, he was sure she was pursing her lips. She made a move to stand up put Lu quickly put her down.</p>
<p>"What the fuck?"</p>
<p>"I don't have any fucking answer," Carla whispered back, shrugging. "It's useless."</p>
<p>Lu turned around. Their eyes met and she gave him a pointed look. He understood immediately and stood up, walking to the teacher's desk without hesitation.</p>
<p>"I don't like you standing up during an exam."</p>
<p>"I think one question isn't well worded correctly..."</p>
<p>Carla's eyes widened as she saw Samuel stood up to distract the teacher while Lu was switching their tablets. Something twisted in her chest. They were both risking their school year for her. If they get caught, the three of them would probably be suspended. She had been awful to them both and they still did not hesitate to help. Carla felt even worse about herself. She certainly did not deserve any of them.</p>
<p>The bell rang, and before Lu or Samuel could ask questions, she left the classroom. Her fingers were trembling, and her mind felt dizzy. Where was Valerio? She needed him — no, she needed what he had to give her. The need, the crave for the drugs was even keeping at bay any thoughts of Samuel. It was much better this way. Carla nervously tapped her foot against the cold ground of the school, looking frantically around her when Lu's voice resonated in her ears.</p>
<p>"I don't want a standing ovation but a thank you would be appreciated."</p>
<p>Carla sighed before turning to her best friend.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry. But... you shouldn't have done that."</p>
<p>"You're not okay. I have a master in interpreting passive-aggressive behavior," Lu began, placing a comforting hand on her arm. "Come on, you're crying out for help... Can you tell me what's going on? It's me, Carla. You can talk to me."</p>
<p>Could she? Carla hesitated. It would be nice to finally let it all out to someone, to be comforted by someone who would understand. It was Lu, indeed, and they used to tell eachother everything. Maybe Lu would help her. She was good at finding solutions to all kind of problems.</p>
<p>"I—"</p>
<p>"Carla!"</p>
<p>Yeray's voice interrupted their conversation and Lu glared at him. If looks could kill, her boyfriend would be laying on the floor.</p>
<p>"I got us a new house for this summer. I will give you the keys so you can decorate everything to your own taste and feel at home." He grinned, proud with himself and Carla couldn't stop herself from sighing.</p>
<p>"Oh. Lucky me."</p>
<p>"Are you being sarcastic? Carla, many girls would kill for what I give you and..."</p>
<p>"Yeray, meet Carla's worst version! You should care and love for her." Lu squeezed her shoulders tightly. "Call me, alright?"</p>
<p>Carla was then left alone with Yeray who was staring at her with puppy eyes. It was different from the way Samuel looked at her. Her current boyfriend did not notice how her body was trembling slightly, nor the unusual paleness of her skin. Samuel, on the on the other hand, saw right through her as soon as he'd walked in the classroom. It was almost as though she was an open book and he knew every line, every chapter by heart.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," Carla forced a smile, placing her hand on Yeray's cheek. "I'm exhausted. I didn't sleep much, and I shouldn't take it out on you."</p>
<p>It was almost too easy. He happily gave in her soft touch and Carla looked away, noticing Valerio. She found an excuse to leave Yeray and made her way toward Lu's brother.</p>
<p>Her attention entirely focused on Valerio? she didn't notice a pair of familiar eyes following her every move. However, as soon as she walked out of the bathroom she halted. Carla swallowed hard as her eyes met Samuel's hurt ones. She lowered her head in shame, suddenly very self-conscious of what she was doing. Drugs weren't like hers and they both knew that. She strolled away before he could try to speak to her and take away the only remedy to her pain.</p>
<p>Carla had no idea that doing so would direct Samuel's anger at Valerio.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I am so sorry it took me so long to update! This chapter wasn't great, I'm sorry, but lately my inspiration has gone down a bit because of everything that happened in the show + work. What I might do in the future is taking prompts instead? I will continue this fanfiction, but will also take time to try and write prompts if you leave some in the comments and I feel inspired by them.</p>
<p>Anyway I hope everyone is well. Stay hydrated and safe!!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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